The paths of life

Illustration by Jessica Aumaitre

In my books I keep falling back on a common theme; you can choose what you want to be. I know it’s an old lesson, one that pretty much every parent teaches to their children; but I don’t often meet people who actually live this advice. I know I haven’t.

It’s easy to fall into the patterns of life and follow where the currents pull, but slowing down to look at where you’re at takes effort. It’s an effort I feel is rewarded, though.

It was in one of these moments where I found I was just following the expected trajectories of life. Grow up> get a degree> get a job> be miserable at work> get paid but never have any money> retire after the company forces you out.

Then I asked myself, do I want to follow this path? It’s the typical path trod by so many feet that the social ground is worn smooth, so it’s easy to walk down. By which I mean if you’re employed by a company they pay a portion of your tax obligations, connect you to health care, and help you set aside money for your inevitable decline. The government further reinforces this with programs like social security that is based on your work history and sponsored by an employer. So like I said, the path is easy to walk down.

But I looked around at the other roads; I started writing books. Through writing I met other people who were walking different paths themselves; artists, authors, and editors all creating a community built around a sort of imaginative synergy. It was uplifting and refreshing to find so many wonderful and supportive people who have decided to follow their passions rather than the bent of society.

I looked to them with hope and longing; a feeling that only intensified when the trappings of corporate life threatened to strangle me with the constant backdrop of profits, productivity, and personnel reductions. I know that the culture at large isn’t accommodating or kind to those who chose to follow their own path in life; but none of that stuff matters if you’re so miserable you’d rather be dead. And that was where I was for a time; miserable and heading to a new low spot.

In a moment of deep introspection, I decided I wanted to walk a new path myself. It won’t be easy, sure, but neither has living with depression. And, I can assure you that writing a book was not easy either. However, just because something isn’t easy doesn’t mean it shouldn't be done.

So, following the advice of my parents and the characters of my books, I have decided to try to be what I want to be rather than what society would rather me be. At this point in my life I’ve become inured to failure, so skinning my knee on new path doesn’t scare me. I’d rather struggle in something where my passions lay rather than look back on my life with regret.

I apologize for being rather vague with the details here, but I want to avoid making this sound like an incitement against anyone in particular. Rather, I want the core message here to be the same as it is in my books: hope. Through my writing and the people around me I’ve found a measure of hope, and I’ve decided to follow that where it leads me.

If perhaps you’re in a dark spot yourself then you might consider where your hope lies, and follow it. We’ll support each other on the road to better.