Gear grinding: Love at first... sigh

Hello everyone, and welcome back to another session of gear grinding; it’s been a while. I’ll be honest, I forgot about this ongoing series for a while. But, as is often the case, I’ll read a book and get my hackles ruffled by something and need to vent. So today, I’ll be tackling the topic of love at first sight, or insta-romance, oh boy.

Now, there are times where I’ll take a position you might have not considered, but this is not one of those times. Almost universally, among writing advice articles authors are cautioned against having people fall in ‘love’ with each other too easily. So, my stance against insta-romances is not at all controversial, but I felt moved to throw my two cents after reading a poorly executed romance.

We’ll start with a definition of what a I see as the problem so everyone is on the same page here. Love at first sight describes an interaction between two characters where they take an immediate, romantic interest in another character upon the very first instant of meeting each other. In some cases, the romantic interest can be in the same sentence as when the character is first introduced.

If you’ve read some cheesy, pulpy books in your life, then I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. I saw her from across the room and I was captivated by her immense beauty and was smitten. Or how about; His rock-hard chiselled features and ice-chip blue eyes stared at me with unwavering intensity. Bla bla bla, yes, we know; these characters will be bumping their curvaceous and chiselled bodies against each other in extreme, rampant passion within the covers of the book as soon as something like that is written.

And therein lies the first problem; by setting up such overt, mutual attraction the reader is denied the part of the story where they wonder if/who will the characters get romantic with. When you set up the sort of certainty that accompanies love at first sight, there leaves no question that these two will come together. And in general, the reader wants to speculate, they want to wonder what’s next. It takes the enjoyment from the story when outcomes are evident from the outset. But, then again, you have to conform to reader expectations, so you can’t be too unpredictable.

So, don’t let the reader know how things are going to wind up, but make sure that the story fits within what the reader expects. Make sense? No? Good.

Moving on, the second issue I have with insta-romances is that it’s heavily based on the visual aspect of the characters. By it’s very nature, love at first sight is based on the visualization of the swooning character. Books are not a visual medium, the written word doesn’t (typically) have images to show the reader what the character looks like. And here is the real crux of the problem: when someone reads a character’s physical description, the image is in their head and is fundamentally different from the author’s.

Instead of relying on the physical aspects of the prospective partner, it is better to rely on the emotional aspects of said person. Effective writing evokes emotions, so it is better to inform the reader of the emotions of the interaction than to try and tell us how sexy the character is. But, remember; show don’t tell, so it’s not good to just tell us (the reader) but to create a situation to show us. And, guess what? Creating those situations, and building up those emotions takes time and page space.

Another aspect to consider is the ideal of love at first sight is, in most instances, lust at first sight. I’m not say that lust doesn’t have its place on the page, but it should be represented for what it is. If a character just wants a rowdy night with an attractive partner, then don’t put the pretense of love in the equation. Love implies a profound emotional vulnerability, and the willingness to sacrifice a part of one’s self for the sake of another. And those vulnerabilities and sacrifices don’t come from a one-night-stand. If the character just wants to get their rocks off, then just straight up inform the reader of that.

The final part of my rant here will be a rather simple question; why do these rapid romantics keep showing up in writing? If it’s a well-known and oft criticized problem in genre-fiction, why does it appear so frequently? I feel there are various reasons for this, and I could probably fill another article on my opinions, but I think it comes down to this; writers feel romance is required in stories. So, they suss up a story and at some point realize they need a classic, romantic interest. The interest is added without much consideration, some superfluous kissing and groping is mentioned and a checkbox is marked off on the [these must be in the novel] checklist.

And that is just plain wrong.

It’s wrong because love, one of the most profound and core elements of the human experience, should not be added in to fulfill some cursory market obligation. At the outset of a novel (the outline draft, or the discovery manuscript) if the story has romance in it, care and attention should be paid to it throughout the novel. If romance is in a story, it should take a good amount of page space, and be a major pillar that would cause the story to collapse if removed. Otherwise, you aren’t doing it justice.

There is one caveat I’d like to mention before I end here. All of what I’ve ranted about is concerning the main characters, the people who we readers have to closest connection to. If there is a background relationship between side characters, then it’s fine that it receives only scant page space. So, if the author really feels a story needs some kissy-kissy, then have it occur between side characters if pages are at a premium. That way the checkbox is ticked and I don’t feel like chunking the book in a furnace.

Whew, that was a lot to say in one breath. What can I say? I’m passionate about the propriety of passion (my tongue is buried in my cheek BTW). So in closing, I want to reiterate my key points to watch out for. It’s okay to have a lustful or carnal character who pursues sex for the physical gratification, but don’t pretend that has anything to do with love. When a book does this, the character is lying to themselves, and the author is lying to the reader. State it for what it is. If perhaps the story calls for honest-to-goodness love, then the page space must be dedicated to building up and showing the reader this relationship.